Marriage a Social Liability

Bhat Mujtaba Gurezi

The bible says that “marriage is a solemn and public covenant between a man and a woman in the presence of God, intended by God for their mutual joy; for the help and comfort given to one another in prosperity and adversity; and when it is God’s will, for the procreation of children and their nurture”.

So this is what marriage in a real sense speaks about. The wording above mentioned has a deep meaning and pure taste of  love and respect. Can we say a couple who marry here are literally bonded somewhere in heavens and given a physical form on earth to get united and carry forward the love and human race, superior among all, beautifully mentioned in holy Quran as Ashraful Makhlooqat (noblest of all creatures) that is created in beautiful mould with capacities and capabilities to carry out good deeds.

With man’s most attention towards progress in life or shifting of personal interests directed by  external factors of the society, marriage at a required and ripened age has become a troublesome venture and a challenging puzzle to be solved. Growing self centered, economic or work centered human psychology has driven marriage to the back rows of one’s priorities of life. One may easily prefer to stay single even in his/her mid or late thirties rather to get married, the reason being why to invite responsibilities and unusual standstill in life.

This attitude is gushing into the society at a very fast speed. Let’s see backwards just forty decades ago, life was not that complex and a balance existed between humanism and materialism. Evidences are there that people married in their early twenties and enjoyed a life full of biological pleasure with social stability.

Unfortunately what is happening today is a matter of concern. The answer to this is neat and clean and lies with us. With development and progress the standard of life increased. Taking Indian context, the injection of technology into lives of people and a rapid westernisation gave birth to the tendencies of individualism and other self centric attitudes whereby only a limited relations are kept and a more concern is put towards material gains. This creates a butterfly effect which ultimately causes weakening of social bonds and relations, the fundamental essence of our existence as social animals.

The Indian society have some norms and  rules relating to marriage, though they vary in degree but they have a uniqueness in character. For example job has became a priority, and it is like your biological appetite would get a diet only if you are economically sound and interestingly there is no bar on financial standards that are needed to be met to marry in the midst of such complexities. Isn’t it like a mayhem is rapidly engulfing our principles of simple living. In rural notches of the country the condition is even worse where marriage chances or of getting a partner are very minimal provided groom is a govt employee. How strange turn the human perception regarding this lovable union is taking.

The unmarried stock is highest of all the time, because the qualities offered and priorities set are totally at the extremes of same stick , thus a joint of the two is possible only after the break of stick. When there is a little consensus between the persons who intend to marry, no doubt they are ready to go for it but suddenly family pressure and priorities crop in which ultimately takes the shape of societal evils like dowry. At times persons fighting every oddity whether economic or emotional, suddenly a warrior called caste steps in and we know the results when deadly word caste vibrates  the ears of those over obsessed with it, can sometimes take  the shape of infamous social evils like brutal honour killings.

A dramatic pattern is there when we compare the marriage age of ours and our parents. At the age of thirty when most of our generation is unmarried or single our parents had two to three children, that means a family and responsibilities of their own, a disciplined and more productive life. The means of livelihood never mattered for them, it was always cooperative based on emotional binding not like contemporary times when marriage is sought as an economic contract and cherished as a burden; to ease your financial constraints that one may have suffered while raising his/her position in the society. The fear was not there how to manage the affairs after marriage, rather a commitment was there and a culture of confidence, trust and belief was making rounds among the young or old and educated or uneducated of the society.

The trend of getting married is glaring now. The complexity of society is compounding the situation further. Infusion of more dowry and other tedious and unbearable rituals is pushing this very fundamental need of human beings to the dark corners. The bond that is actually tied and blessed by Almighty’s grace is viewed wholly from the acquisitive perspective failing to know that its responsibility is taken by Lord himself; by Whose will if we were born and raised to the adolescence why can’t with his blessings a generation from us can be procreated, nurtured and raised to full fledged social and biological beings. Marriage is a matter of belief and is completely a phenomena of love, responsibility and trust, and not of anything like an economic or a social burden. Desecrating this union would be the historic blunder of humans done to humanity.